Monday, November 19, 2012

Hostess Gifts

There is an important etiquette when it comes to hostess gift-giving. Too ostentatious and you'll be immediately pegged as obnoxious and over-eager, surrounded by rolling eyes as you pull out a set of Swarovki shot glasses. Too cheap and they'll swear they will never invite you again for fear of receiving yet another bottle of Trader Joe's finest wine (you're not fooling anyone, Charles Shaw, we all know you're Two Buck Chuck). With our list of understated and refined hostess gifts, you can sleep well knowing that you are by far the favorite party guest. And what is important in life, if not the excitement that comes along with your plethora of Christmas party invites?
{These old-timey jars of Ginger Syrup will sweeten up the party. What is Ginger Syrup, you ask? Not a clue, but they sure are adorable.}
{Zoe Williams' Egret will show that you are both playful and ahead-of-the-curve. While others are still obsessed with the glorified house painter Banksy, you will have moved on to $1,600 mounted blue hand puppets.} 
{Lucky for you I sprang for boutique wine. You're welcome.}
{The $15,000 price tag on this giant is incredibly reasonable for a speaker-log of its size, and just think of the statement you would make rolling up to the party with it over your shoulder. Where is the gift table, Lisa?}
{Dull Debbie came with a sad vanilla-scented candle, and you arrive with these felted chickens handcrafted by an old woman in the Netherlands. I wonder who will be invited back?}

Sunday, November 18, 2012

2nd Six Things

We can't believe this is already our 2nd Six Things post. When we started this blog we had no idea how important our end-of-the-week tradition would become to us, and to you guys. Here is our latest and greatest list of things that are currently making us happier than you.
{A strategically placed line of teas says "I am artsy with excellent taste."}
{A few of our favorite intellectual books. Or we're sure they would be our favorite books, had we ever read them.}
{A quick trip to L.A.'s Joan's on Third for a pulled pork sandwich. Well worth the flight, we assure you.}

{A bold YSL lip says "I'm not afraid to be daring." A bold Maybelline lip says "I shop at Wal-Mart."} 
{DIY painted jars let your guests know that you are down-to-earth.}
{Nostalgic for our summer in Annecy, France. It is a great spot with the added bonus of telling your friends that you were going to visit Paris again but decided on this more quintessentially French town.}  

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Wine Country Getaway

The rain can be pleasant and cozy for a day or two, but when the third day of dismal weather comes around we need to get out. So we loaded our car with our winter wardrobes and fluffy cats and drove to the most subtly elegant place we could think of: Napa Valley. Napa Valley is the Hamptons' more sophisticated cousin: it is beautiful, exclusive, and filled with overpriced and delicious things for us to try and buy. We stayed in a cottage at the Carneros Inn, complete with our own personal hot tub, fire-pit, and indoor/outdoor shower. In hindsight I guess it was more of a large house than a cottage, but the latter term gives the vacation a more quintessential wine country vibe so we'll stick with it. It was the perfect place to hunker down and wait out this California storm.
{Just a casual view of the Carnernos vineyards during our rainy-day swim.}
{Arugula, prosciutto, peppered crackers, almonds, and buratta. Delicious simplicity.}
{Lunch at the Fremont Diner. It's just an under-the-radar delicious diner that you probably haven't heard of yet.}
{Being truly superior means never having to make important decisions. Outdoor shower or indoor shower? I'll choose both, thank you very much.} 
{Admiring the typography at the Boon Fly while sipping on a bacon bloody mary. It's the little things in life.}

Friday, November 16, 2012

Rainy Day Comforts

Rainy days are always bittersweet for us. Bitter, because we have to take a day off from snapping pictures of our perfectly planned outfits in front of vaguely trendy brick walls. Sweet, because we get to spend the day on our warm and fluffy couch together with our elegant cats. Here are some things making the wet day a little less dreary.
{Chinchilla Persians are the Aston-Martin of cat breeds.}
{Diptyque candles say "I can afford to literally burn $60."}
{Always drink French tea. It is an easy way to feel chic and superior.}

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

"Objets" of the Living Room

There is something about a modestly pretentious living room that implies class. Every once in a while (about once a week, give or take) we make a trip to our favorite home-decor mecca to spruce up the room that we use the most. We understand the importance of switching out the old for the new, and although it can get a bit pricey, think of it as an investment. How will guests know how cultured you are without that bust of Napoleon staring at them from your mantelpiece? Here are some of our favorite objets that will subtly let your friends know that your distinguished taste will trump their IKEA Bjursta table every time.
{This vintage bar cart will let company assume that you are a tasteful alcohol connoisseur}
{What better way to show the world your profound musings than on $800 chalkboards?}
{Note: chalk not included.}
{Cashmere throws are a staple of every modestly pretentious living room. It contains our three favorite S's: soft, sophisticated, and steeply priced.} 
{Scrabble because you are intelligent, vintage because you are worldly.} 
{This 19th Century Parisian Telescope lets us look into less chic living rooms.} 
{Burn your iHome. Music sounds so much richer through this vintage gramophone.}

Monday, November 12, 2012

Brown Bag It

Oftentimes we find ourselves wishing for a more exciting and exclusive way to eat our on-the-go lunches. That's why we were thrilled when we found this brilliant design by Jil Sander. It is reminiscent of our childhood brown bagged lunches but with a new and inspired twist. The great thing about carrying Sander's design is that we can be smugly confident of our superiority to the lunchers destroying the environment one paper bag at a time. And at just shy of $300, who could refuse? 

 {Necessary purchase. We'll take two.}

 {Looks like paper, feels like $300 paper}

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Six Things

{One time in Paris I paid 10€ for a playful Macaroon}

Some days we just need a reminder of the pretty things in life. Here are six things that are currently reminding us that our lives are better than yours.

{Quaint soap bars found in a hole-in-the-wall shop in S.F.}

{Pretty bon-bon trays to hold our overpriced Macaroons}

{A lizard riding a simple yet sophisticated magnifying glass}

{A selection of holiday sweaters for the wintery San Francisco nights}

{Mrs earrings for the most obnoxious brides. Must find Mr cuff links ASAP.}

A New(er) Season

Welcome to Pastries and Polyester! As we move into the winter months, we like to find comfort in the warmth of our favorite fabrics and foods. This is a blog to track our every move, because we know that what the world wants more than anything is to know what we are up to always. Please enjoy our perpetual and profound thoughts and the occasional snapshot of a delicately hung polyester sweater, probably on a delicately DIY painted dresser with gold trim that you will never be able to emulate no matter how detailed our instructions. Don't give up, though, because perhaps you will be able to mirror our perfectly prepared apple crumble down the line. After all, in the words of the great Italian actor Stephen Coletti, "Un povero uomo di sposarsi". That loosely translates to "Some poor man is going to marry you". 
{Here is an assortment of pastries that you will never be able to make, no matter how precise your measurements.}